The Man MakesA man of his word
Nobody becomes a man of his word by deciding to be one. He becomes one by keeping small promises when no one is checking.
Then larger ones. Then the ones that cost him. Here are five virtues from the code that build it, in the order to work them. Each ends with one act. Do the act.
1. Keep your word to yourself first
Keep your word to yourself when no one is watching. That is where self-respect is actually built.
In the morning when thou risest unwillingly, let this thought be present,—I am rising to the work of a human being.Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 5.1
And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;Colossians 3:23, KJV
The move: Take one promise to yourself you usually break — the workout, the page, the early rise. Keep it all seven days. Treat your own word as law.
Watch: Maxim 12 in a minute
2. Tell the truth when a lie would be smoother
A pleasant lie buys you today and mortgages every tomorrow.
He then who lies intentionally is guilty of impiety, inasmuch as he acts unjustly by deceiving; and he also who lies unintentionally, inasmuch as he is at variance with the universal nature, and inasmuch as he disturbs the order by fighting against the nature of the world.Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 9.1
Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.Ephesians 4:25, KJV
The move: Tell one person one true thing you have been softening to keep things smooth. Kindly. Watch the relationship get more real, not less.
Watch: Maxim 13 in a minute
3. Straighten what you have been cutting
Integrity loses every sprint and wins the only race that counts.
He who has not one and always the same object in life, cannot be one and the same all through his life.Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 11.21
He that walketh uprightly walketh surely: but he that perverteth his ways shall be known.Proverbs 10:9, KJV
The move: Find one corner you have quietly been cutting — a small lie, a fudged number, a secret that should not be kept. Straighten it before anyone forces you to.
Watch: Maxim 19 in a minute
4. Say what you hold, when it costs
A conviction you will not say out loud when it costs you was never really yours.
Let this be the kernel of my idea: let us say what we feel, and feel what we say; let speech harmonize with life. That man has fulfilled his promise who is the same person both when you see him and when you hear him.Seneca, Letters 75
And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?Luke 6:46, KJV
The move: Find one moment where silence would be easier and cheaper. Say the true thing your conviction demands. Keep it brief. Then let it stand.
Watch: Maxim 20 in a minute
5. Then say less
Say less. Mean more. Let the silence do half the work.
And let silence be the general rule, or let only what is necessary be said, and in few words.Epictetus, Enchiridion 33
He that hath knowledge spareth his words: and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit.Proverbs 17:27, KJV
The move: In your next disagreement, ask one question and then stop talking. Let the other man fill the space. Listen to what he reveals.
Watch: Trait 2 in a minute
Five weeks, five acts. A man who has done them does not have to tell anyone he keeps his word.